Call me Rachy or Rach. I'll blow candles on 13 Sep every year. Pessimistic, but always try to achieve perfection & leave no regrets. Good friends & families add on colours onto my life, i simply cherish those who care for me.
28th (sun): slept for 4 hours only, very shag but cant continue my slp. went to meet wenhui, serene & melody at vivo. so coincident tt we have e same off days (= we watched Ip Man, & a round of applause is wad we feel lyk giving.
we expected e movie to be good but its beyond our expectations, it's marvellous! the humour was great & well placed, fighting choreography is nicely designed. script is well-written & its straight to e point, even though its quite a long movie, but u'll be totally indulge into it without feelin draggy. a must watch! definitely satisfying ^^
passed by guess & we jus walk in. but ended up gettin a wallet for myself & a belt for wh as next yr's bday present (i know its too early!). had a fulfilling meal at one of e nonya restaurants, good food served. & den we continue shoppin, haha. gt a pair of dazzling earrings at forever 21, & many groceries for my kl trip, & not forgetting my very important eye make-up remover. i cant imagine e amount i spend until now -.-
i always love leopard prints
melody insisted of getting me a pink mini mirror, thanks sis! we both oso bought a notebook for serene to thank her for her guidance all these while. ltr had some snacks at superdog, & we realized e new stitch t-shirt stained melody's lv bag & adidas jacket. its all red now! even my t-shirt oso kena. we find it ridiculous as it wasnt wash b4 or make wet. we called e boss & he don buy our story at all, so pissed off. tmr we wil show him everything & demand an explanation.
anyway san's bus tix was added, jus cant wait for e kl trip. im totally in holiday mood already, kakas!
loneliness is a stranger
1:38 AM
December 28, 2008
from friends, 2 person became lovers. but when probs arised & there's a need to let go, lovers will become strangers. so i guess we shouldn't have started at all.
2:18 PM
browse thru my folders, found some reali meaningful pics that make me take a 2nd glance (= (not according to time)yes i used to siao perfumes...
last last halloween, e man at e left is e big thing in sch
cheryl loves to snap suddenly..
indulge in beautiful voices..
whenever im feelin blue, dis pic always help (=
i'll always rem this, my small pudding compared to 3 giant bowls, mine is e most exp, lol
our names are happy!
my sch & smokin partner
her award-winning smile upon receiving my gift
me living in shadows..
i miss my sch days, i really do
nothing beats my family
i miss my kaikai, he always cheer my day ): where's the happy-go-lucky rachy?
my dear girl is now havin really bad days, hope to b by her side now..
people hand in hand, we head in head
1 of e surprises wen i reach my wrkplace.. innocent keroppi in a beautiful cosmetic pouch, so sweet!
me & sis love to fight cos 打是情骂是爱my previous sch kaki drew this for me, im totally impressed (:
i spent my whole night preparing for e presentation... ehh.
genting, seeing this makes me think of being a lil happy kid..
im sorry guys, i noe u guys r disappointed tt i chose to leave sch.
thanks for all e sweetest memories, i'll always save in my heart <3
beautiful memories are always kept in my mind, all e best to my loved ones, u shd noe who u guys are (:
sat 27/12: haven even started my kl trip, i've already got myself so many things. went to shop at stitch wit melody during wrk time. got 1 sweater & tee for myself & bought a tee & cardigan for melo. we're super excited n gonna wear it for our kl trip, cant wait! e salesperson oso gave us a xmas shirt wit e amount i spent, thanks~ although i spent a bomb but i really like dem.
stitch's latest series made them ours (:
i guess im in love with their designs, every month will at least get 2 pieces from dem. dat isnt a good sign, but i cant resist e temptation, unless i transfer to other outlet, kakakas.
Quiet, kind and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings. Interested in serving others.
totally true...
Careers that could fit you include:
Interior decorators, designers, nurses, administrators, managers, secretaries, child care/early childhood development, social work, counselors, paralegals, clergy, office managers, shopkeepers, bookkeepers, homemakers, gardeners, clerical supervisors, curators, family practice physicians, health service workers, librarians, medical technologists, typists.
most of them are none of my interest, lol.
6:54 AM
带我走到遥远的以后
带走我一个人自转的寂寞
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕带我走
6:20 AM
26th dec (fri): tday was nt a bad day, finally everything goes smoothly, i can concentrate on wrk & hardly tink of anything. dat was a good sign. got a grey fur clutch to reward myself as i work reali hard dis xmas, melody say i work e hardest among e team. yes im reali tired, but i forced myself to wrk, i guess its jus to forget my pain. now i could feel im much better than b4, yup a bit mre time & i guess i can try to forget things tt i shd forget. anyway cant wait for e kl trip wit melody. i reali nid a break, leave this place & indulge in shoppin elsewhere, if not my mind wil start thinkin, uncontrollable. it was actually me, san, melody & wenhui goin tgt but due to some probs, ended up wit me & melo only. but its ok, i guess we wil stil enjoy it very much too. holiday mood already, don wish to work. haha.
If you, if you could return Don't let it burn, don't let it fade I'm sure I'm not being rude But it's just your attitude It's tearing me apart It's ruining everything And I swore, I swore I would be true And honey so did you So why were you holding her hand Is that the way we stand Were you lying all the time Was it just a game to you
But I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought the world of you I thought nothing could go wrong But I was wrong I was wrong If you, if you could get by Trying not to lie Things wouldn't be so confused And I wouldn't feel so used But you always really knew I just wanna be with you
But now it doesn't matter anymore, say goodbye, just say goodbye.
5:37 AM
this song is telling how exactly im feelin.
All I know Is everything is not as it's sold but the more I grow the less I know And I have lived so many lives Though I'm not old And the more I see, the less I grow The fewer the seeds the more I sow
Then I see you standing there Wanting more from me And all I can do is try Then I see you standing there Wanting more from me And all I can do is try
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness And all the real people are really not real at all The more I learn the more I cry As I say goodbye to the way of life I thought I had designed for me
Then I see you standing there Wanting more from me And all I can do is try Then I see you standing there I'm all I'll ever be But all I can do is try Try
All of the moments that already passed We'll try to go back and make them last All of the things we want each other to be We never will be And that's wonderful, and that's life And that's you, baby This is me, baby And we are, we are, we are, we are Free In our love We are free in our love
24th to 25th: hohoho! merry xmas to all of u! i spent mine in e shop wrking, sounds sad ya? haha. i actually ended work at 4am, finally gone thru e toughest wrkin period. i nvr had an off day for e whole dec, today is my 1st one! yup sounds funny to stay at home on xmas but im really tired to go anywhere or do anything. can u imagine me havin to reach shop almost everyday at 9am & only rch home aft work at ard 3am? its a cycle everyday for dec, & having to do so many things definitely makes me even shag.
now im mentally & physically tired. & e sales for cine is fuckin poor, all thanks to e bad economy & cineleisure's management, making e mall so dead. nt forgeting taka's enormous fair tt sells so many items at such low prices, how to compete? we're definitely at e losing end. felt tt we worked sooo hard for nothing. sighs.
anyway kudos to evryone for e hardwork, at least we did our very best. melo is comin to look for me now, wana tks her for e belgian choco jus to cheer me up. gotta go! hav a joyful xmas everybody (;
from chris she got me my fav choco, thankyou (:
frm gek tiang, i love e santa on e card, so cute~
im finding these, & felixia got them for me, thanks girl!
felixia's xmas card, msg inside was reali touchin ^^ from silly stella, ty! i hope she can stay strong no matter wad hpn to her family, jiayou!
7:36 PM
after some sms-in & calls, i finally got e ans from u. u admit you're afraid of me, i got a bad temper. i neglected u & take u for granted. everytime when i do something dat u don't like, u tried to say but u stop halfway cos u're afraid to tell me. thats y everytime i duno y u suddenly black face & aft that u're ok. now i know why. but its too late. i guess this is our life, its fated. our mindsets are so diff. evrytime we talked abt our probs & we tot it was solved, but in fact, they hav nvr been solved. tats why probs acumulated & became a disaster.
yes i noe you're numb to this relationship, u felt hurt. i noe u've faded feelins bcos of e things i did. but let me tell u, i really did not mean it. i truly treasure u & buyin things is not bcos i tot that wil show how much i love u, its to see e happiness on yr face tt wil makes me happy too. too much misunderstandings, too much probs. it will never be solved cos its too late.
whatever it is, i noe its over, n we can nvr go back to e past, never ever. im sorry if i've hurt u or neglected u, but i really did not mean it. jus wana say i can forgive but nvr forget e things u did to me too. u said u moved on easily is bcos u're numb to e r/s, but where's yr responsibility? how can u move on without breakin up wit me first? do u noe what is two-timing? do u noe what is lying? do u noe how hurt im to be e last to know? do u noe hw painful i am when someone tels me what she see? & i can never believe u're e one doing it. i always tot u won't lie to me, i always trust u. but im wrong.
i stil cant imagine hw u changes your words everytime u talk to me. 1st u say u will settle her cos u noe im e one that u love, u will always be with me. e next day u ask me to choose btw a triangle r/s or evryone goes separate ways. i cant take it, e qns was too ridiculous, & i almost chose e 1st choice bcos i cant control myself loving u but fortunately i woke up, & told myself why am i so dumb. third u told me we shall end, but u're with tt gal now. why e things that u say r so different everytime? yes i admit, i've got entirely no trust wit u now. u know hw hard is it to build up trust but breakin it is so easy w/o any force? do u ever know?
whatever it is, past is e past. my priority now is my families & frns. relationship put aside 1st. im gonna concentrate on my work, i believe time heals, i wil just treat it as a lesson learnt in my life. i see all kinds of pp & i tell myself fortunately i met them early, den next time i noe hw to manage such ppl. i wil always rem e memories we spent, but it wil always stay as memories, thats all. nth mre than that.
thank you for all e love & concern you showered to me in e past, thank you for making me feel like im once e luckiest woman in e world. thank you for allowing me to learn so many things. im gonna start afresh & a new rachel is gonna appear. i would nvr turn back, nvr ever. jus keep on walking.
not forgeting to thanks those that had been by my side during these painful days. sammy, melody, san, wenhui, serene, issac, stradic, my family & many more, u guys r e best people on earth. i love u all! & i will definitely cherish all e moments spend wit u ppl. thank you very much! don't worry abt me k? as time passes, i believe i will slowly forget abt e unhappy memories & move on to a new life. sorry to make u guys worry so much. hugs! & as for u, just wish u all e best in your future endeavours...
7:01 PM
12/12 (fri): twilight started having its sneak previews alrdy, even thou i did not read e book yet, but im sooo freaking excited bout watchin e show, not to even mention those we had alrdy read, haha. thus aft wrk even wen we were so exhausted, me, wenhui, san, melo & tiang went to catch e show.
well well, it was cool in e beginning where all e characters slowly make its appearance. but towards e end of e show, u'll realize its a very short-cut of e storybook. there is a lack of depth in the characters and the climax was acutely absent. there are also few flaws in terms of effects. The Cullens' agility at times can look quite funny instead of wowing the audiences. however if the love story tends to make you feel sleepy, the Cullens' very own baseball game will keep you awake. just a remark, impress yourself by the book will do (:
p/s: we all think that edward cullen's dad is definitely good-looking! pay 8 bucks for e movie to catch him is good enough ^^
6:25 PM
thurs 11/12: went to help out at wrk even thou its my off day. mood was totally affected but i tried my best to nt think bout it. evry1 wanted to cheer me up, i could tel dey are tryin their very best, such as asking me for a movie or drink. thank you guys, i reali appreciate it. so we went for a drink at balcony aft wrk. we talked abt everything under e sun, & of cos e topics stil includes my love life.
they told me i deserve a better one, treat it as a lesson learnt. yeah i will try. now im just a girl lost in e streets, don't know wher im headin to, lookin for & what to do. jus wonderin ard, 走一步算一步. no hopes for e future, no dreams no nothing. just hope time wil heals, 不然我真的很辛苦. seeing things that reminds me of him, its just tearing my heart apart. i've decided to kept them in one huge storage box, jus like wad my dear sam says, & if one day wen i take dem out & hav a look, & i feel nothing abt it, just memories, this means im getting over it. i wish this day will come soon. i don't wan my frns to b worry abt me. i don't wan rachel to be in such a state too. all i can say to myself now is 加油! 明天会更好!
anyway thanks to melo for e small delicacies & sweet pyjamas u got for me. i hope u guys like e gingerbread man, must eat k? (=
4:55 PM
10/12/08: this day is a day to remember. why? not bcos its a very joyful occasion, instead its a day dat make me weep & broke down. e things u said are unbelivable, jus like im listenin to somebody's story-tellin. i nvr expected this day to come, but i guess its fated. i cant believe there dere are so many things that i didnt noe, until somebody sees it, & no choice, u gotta admit. & e dilemma i met, choosing btw me & her tgt or without me & her. i cant accept e fact that im actually answering such a qns, hw stupid i am?
e stubborn me went to look at yr phone, im superbly impressed by e msges. u can call 2 person dear at e same time. & still ask me not to think so much. wow wow wow. why cant u just tell me that u've someone else in mind, jus break up wit me & thats it? its at least better that having 2 person at once & i didnt noe anything. rachel, why r u so silly, so so silly! still asking him if we could go back to e past, impossible! wake up rachel, pls wake up! its not worth it anymore, too much lies, too much hatred, love is out of control. e words u spoke were different everyday, dono which one to trust right now. u're no longer e person that i always trust, no longer.
my friends, i must totally thanks. came down to brainwash me & let me see clearly how a person can changes over night. thanks guys! even though its so late & havin to wrk early e nxt mrning, u guys stil came down immediately to make sure im safe & help me sort out things. im truly touched, even a r/s is gone but i learnt that friendship always last. yes i love u, i truly do. but i guess i gotta stop it, if not im just hurting myself. my heart aches, really aches, never been so painful before.
A life partner
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December 29, 2008
